Tennessee travels to Athens, Ga. this weekend for a football game against the University of Georgia Bulldogs.
A football game that could get ugly.
Going into the game, Tennessee is still struggling to get its feet under itself and avoid another eight-loss season, while Georgia is aiming to make another national championship push. Which is crazy considering the two teams met just two years ago in a game that came down to the last play. To deal with this giant gap that has developed between the two, we have designed a drinking game to try and keep things fresh.
Rule 1: If they show the Dobbnail Boot play from 2016 on the broadcast, take a shot.
Speaking of that game a few years ago that ended on the last play. Anyone who remembers it knows it was epic, but that was back when Tennessee had the potential to be good. Now, well, fans are just hoping the team can just cover the 31-point spread. Shots!
Rule 2: If a Tennessee quarterback gets sacked, take a drink.
This could happen a few times. The offensive line still hasn’t found its best game going into week 5. Last weekend against Florida was a rough one, too. Hopefully, they’ll have a better time this week, but Georgia’s defense is solid. We’ll see if Tennessee can make it into the bye week without any injured quarterbacks.
Rule 3: If a grown adult wearing red barks at you, hit them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
There’s no drinking to this one. I just hope one of you people out there reading this actually does it to a complete stranger. I am not responsible for the consequences, but it would still be hilarious. Get it on video if you can.
Rule 4: If one of Tennessee’s linemen looks confused, either on offense or defense, take a drink.
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Take two drinks if he literally shrugs while he’s talking to a coach or another player, signifying that some folks are actually clueless as to what’s going on at this point in the season.
Rule 5: Take a drink every time the commentators say the names Nick Saban or Mark Richt.
There’s some convoluted history behind this meeting between Kirby Smart and Jeremy Pruitt. Most of that history goes through Saban and Richt. And, since they probably won’t shut up about it on the broadcast, just go ahead and drink through the repetition.
Rule 6: If the announcers bring up Cade Mays and his ties to Tennessee, take a shot.
What could have been. Especially considering the offensive line is currently Tennessee’s biggest weakness. Big shout out to Butch Jones for managing to consistently alienate legacy recruits in his own backyard.
Rule 7: Take a shot for every different running back that scores for Georgia.
Georgia somehow manages to have a deep stable of running backs every season. This year is no different, with Elijah Holyfield and D’Andre Swift looking like the quintessential thunder/lightning duo. Tennessee’s rush defense hasn’t been great either, making the perfect excuse to take your favorite shot of liquor straight to the head.
Rule 8: If someone talks about Georgia’s recruiting, take a drink.
Remember when Georgia was just an average team that recruited just okay? Smart seems to have woken the beast that has been sleeping in Athens the past few decades. Georgia has been on a recruiting tear that doesn’t look to be slowing down anytime soon. Only time will tell if the new redshirt rule will effect the Bulldogs in the long run. For now, though, take a few sips to ease the pain of knowing Georgia will be good for at least the next few years.
Rule 9: If Pruitt gets overly aggressive on the sideline again, shotgun a beer.
First, it was grabbing players’ helmets with both hands when they wouldn’t look him in the eye. Then, it was kicking unsuspecting whiteboards. What will this guy do next?!?!? Whether you think he is being passionate or he’s losing his cool, shotgun a beer, because something bad probably happened.
Rule 10: When you remember that Tennessee still has to play Auburn and Alabama in the next three weeks, gently sip whatever beverage you have and weep softly into your hands at the prospect of consecutive seasons that may or may not be the worst in program history.
Hope these rules help ease what is sure to be a painful Saturday of college football. As always, please drink responsibly, know your limits, and don’t drink and drive. Call a friend, call a pledge, or take an Uber, just don’t drink and drive.