Tennessee vs. BYU kicks off this Saturday in Neyland Stadium at 7:00 p.m. EST. And I have the perfect drinking game to help boost morale following Tennessee’s historic loss to Georgia State this past weekend. If you were to tell me a month ago I would be writing this post based on the circumstances, I would have called you crazy! But here we are!
People keep asking me, “Davey, how did we get here?” And to tell you truth, it is just the Tennessee way. But the perfect way to numb the pain is by following the 10 step drinking plan listed below. Preferably give this plan a try with some Truly Hard Seltzer!
Alright, let’s get started!
1. Drink every time the Georgia State loss is mentioned.
I wanted to go ahead and get this one out of the way. It still stings, but this is one Vol fans are going to be hearing about for years to come. So I can only imagine how many times this loss will be mentioned on Saturday night. I wanted to add a joke here, but it turns out we are the joke.
2. Alcohol being sold in Neyland Stadium for the first time is brought up, drink.
I do not believe Tennessee fans could have asked for a better time for UT to start selling alcohol in Neyland! This was much needed following that week 1 performance, in addition to this game taking place under the lights, and the best part is Mormons don’t drink! More alcohol for us Tennessee fans!
3. Drink every time there is a mention of a BYU player being married or 23 and older.
Drink every time the announcers talk about or a graphic shows that a BYU player is married or really old for a college player. The average age of the BYU roster is 23.5 years old, and over 70% of the players are married. I have no idea if either of those stats are factually accurate, but it sounds legit so I’m just going to run with it.
4. Whenever there is talk of Tennessee’s youth, inexperience, or the amount of adversity they have faced, drink.
Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so. Actually just go ahead finish your drink.
5. If you are at the game or watching it with a BYU fan, every time he or she gives a compliment take 2 drinks.
Mormons are extremely nice people. Some would say too nice. And they are getting ready to encounter a good amount of upset Tennessee fans; therefore I expect them to try and lift our spirits up. So get ready to hear a ton of compliments about how much they enjoy Knoxville and want to wish our Vols a good game. Cheers!
6. Drink if a “Rocky Bottom” comparison or another dumb reference is made in regards to the UT football program.
We get it ESPN! We are not very good at football right now. Some dumb producer has probably been sitting on this one all offseason waiting to throw the graphic on the screen just to take another unnecessary shot at the program. Real original, asshole!
7. Anytime you can’t pronounce a BYU player’s name, drink.
I really do feel for the game announcers on this one. We still struggle to pronounce some of our own players’ names. But their names are incredible! For example: Dayan Ghanwoloku, Moroni Laulu-Pututau, Seleti Fevaleaki, Tavita Gagnier, and Dan Smith. I mean the list goes on and on.
8. Drink whenever you see a Vol fan with a shocked look on his or her face.
Which ever cameraman is in charge of getting fan reaction might be in for a long night. Also, if you see a Vol fan go full Surrender Cobra, take a shot of Volunteer Vodka.
9. Drink every time the Vols go 3 & OUT or turn the football over.
I would say drink every time Jarrett Guarantano misreads a zone, but you would run out of alcohol before the 2nd quarter started.
10. And finally, drink any time you see a picture or hear a reference to the Vol Navy boat that went up in flames!
While you’re at it, go ahead and pour one out for our fallen soldier! R.I.P. Gone but not forgotten! Just like Tennessee’s 2019 season will be if Jeremy Pruitt and the Vols drop this one to the Cougars. Bottoms Up! #GBO
Hopefully everything goes well, and the Vols right the ship to save the season. But as a lifelong Vols fan, all I can say is put your cup on, and have fun playing this drinking game!
If you are still conscious by the end of the game make sure to tune into the Voluntary Reaction with Russell Smith, Jon Reed, and myself immediately following the conclusion of Tennessee vs. BYU. You can listen by downloading the WKGN app here.
**DISCLAIMER: On a serious note, please drink responsibly. Know your drinking limit, and do not drink to excess!**