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Regrettably Yours, Cody McClure

Regrettably Yours, Cody McClure

Hello, friends. Thank you for checking out this debut edition of “Regrettably Yours” – which I hope will be the best mailbag on the internet.

Thanks to @GRITknox for the name suggestion. “Regrettably Yours” seems to fit well.

This mailbag will go up every Friday on foxsportsknoxville.com. Please feel free to tweet me @Cody__McClure throughout the week with interesting stories, topics and questions. Or, if you’d like to be anonymous, you can email me at codymcclure16@gmail.com.

Ok. Let’s get started.

How many days in a row is too many to eat fried chicken? I’ve had wings, strips, and nuggets the last four days and I’m sh*tting fire. Should I stop or keep going?

Seth from Maynardville

We’re off to a great start. Seth is an undisputed first ballot mailbag Hall of Famer.

Simple answer on this one: Keep going.

As someone who has consumed over 520 pounds of chicken tenders in the last decade, I can assure you that life will go on.

Some half-ass Google research tells me that two chicken tenders equates to about four ounces. If I’m having chicken tenders, I’m eating exactly four – so double that to eight ounces per sitting. Eight ounces is half a pound. Also, because of my love for chicken strips, I can assure you that I eat them AT LEAST twice a week. So let’s say I get a solid, full pound of strips each week. I’m also getting at least one 10-piece from Wendy’s each week. That dates back a while. We’ll call it roughly 5,200 nuggets in the last 10 years. Wings, who knows, probably around five or six thousand of those in the last 10 years.

Have I ever eaten fried chicken four days in a row? Absolutely. Maybe even a full week before. Eventually you begin to feel heavier and more lethargic by the day, but the fried food death is a slow one. Go ahead and enjoy it. Sure, in 20 or 30 years your arteries will be clogged and your heart will be stressed beyond repair. But that’s a long time from now.

Who do you hate on Twitter but follow anyway?

@Stw01 on Twitter

Great question. Jimmy Hyams and Darren Rovell were the first names to come to mind but then I remembered I finally had to unfollow Jimmy for his report on Todd Kelly back in January.

I just can’t unfollow Rovell. He’s annoying most of the time and deservedly hated by many, but he’s good at his job in terms of the interesting sports business tweets. Who else is going to tell me that the Cincinnati Reds have a BOGO deal on sautéed raccoon fetuses?

What’s that, Darren? The Green Bay Packers are selling spoiled milk popsicles for 99 cents? And if you buy five they throw in a funnel cake cheeseburger?

I suppose I am annoyed by a lot of people on Twitter, but I usually just mute them if we already follow each other. I figure if you were nice enough to follow me and I decided to follow back, we can agree to disagree on things. I am certain that I get on people’s nerves too.

Who do you think is hotter between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj?

Teran from Nashville

I’m going with Cardi B because she’s younger and because she was a stripper – and that’s hot IMO. I think 25 is beating 35 when you ask me simply who is hotter in this scenario. I’ll preface by saying these are both gorgeous women, obviously. They have similar facial structure and Aphrodite-like eyes, so it’s tough to pick based on any other quality besides age.

Cardi actually looks like she could be Nicki’s younger sister, which makes her even hotter. This is all based solely off looks for me. I wish you had asked who I would rather date instead of who is simply hotter, because Nicki has a lot of great qualities.

For one, she’s worth like $70 million. Cardi is worth what, $4 million? That is a much bigger factor than appearance.

Who would win in a station-wide arm wrestling tournament?

Bear. Without a doubt.

First off, arm wrestling is really weird. It does not require strength – at least not much strength. The technique is everything. When I was in high school I could bench press 465 pounds (humble brag), however, I could not beat my cousins at arm wrestling.

My cousins were not athletes, they didn’t lift any weights, and they were much smaller than me. However, they were a few years older and they spent their entire lives perfecting the techniques of arm wrestling.

Bear is the oldest dude at the station. He’s rough. He’s tough. There’s no doubt that he would school us all. He’s the kind of guy who would let you push his arm almost to the table just to mess with you. You’re shaking, trying to put him down, and he’s just smirking at you with a lit cigarette.

Here is the undisputed power ranking of hosts and producers at the station most likely to be good at arm wrestling:

1. Bear
2. Chance
3. Me
4. Houston

(decent-sized gap … I defeated Brandon with relative ease on Thursday)

5. Brandon
6a. Jon
6b. Lucas

(Jon finally defeated Lucas after a grueling minute-long stalemate)

8. Nate
9. Russell

(respect the experience)

10. Davey – has climbed the rankings thanks to Gold’s Gym
11. Ben
12. Tanner
13. Ric – love ya buddy but someone had to be last

I smoke a lot of weed and am a big fan of edibles in particular. A couple weeks ago my girlfriend cooked up some cannabis butter and made fudge. There was “virgin” fudge left over. Long story short, I had to work one morning at 10 and woke up around 9 with no breakfast. Naturally, I had some of the fudge, except I didn’t get the virgin fudge. I got the cannabis fudge. I was ridiculously high at work. My boss never noticed, and I work in an office so it’s not like I was putting anyone in danger. Moral dilemma: since I pulled it off the first time, albeit it by accident, should I do it again?

Anonymous

If it made your job more fun and you could handle it well, I don’t see any reason not to try it again. I assume as a “big fan” of edibles, you have a pretty good tolerance and can still do your office job.

Sure, there’s a minor risk that your boss will notice next time and you will end up getting fired, but everyone could use a little more danger in their life.

I would not condone this if you were a brain surgeon or an anesthesiologist. Of course, chances are, if you’re a brain surgeon or anesthesiologist, you’re probably not making weed fudge in your spare time. Good luck.

Ok, talk to you next week.

Regrettably yours,

Cody McClure

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@Cody__McClure

Often misunderstood. It's good to be here -- and quite frankly -- it's good to be anywhere.

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