Tennessee comes into Saturday’s rivalry against Georgia as massive underdogs. MyBookie.ag currently has the Bulldogs as 31-point favorites. The expectation for this matchup is uncharted territory. The rivalry has never been so lopsided. Yet, the Vols still need a plan to defeat the mighty Bulldogs as they reluctantly enter Sanford Stadium on Saturday afternoon. Some might think there is no such thing as a blueprint for victory in this situation. However, I have the solution:
Eliminate The Quarterbacks
This position is arguably the strength of Georgia’s team. They have not one, but two quarterbacks that are capable of being All-SEC selections. Jake Fromm is a sophomore who has already thrown for over 3,300 yards and 33 touchdowns in his young career. His backup is Justin Fields, who was rated by 247Sports as the nation’s No. 1 dual-threat quarterback. He is 14-of-17 with two touchdowns and no interceptions. Both of these quarterbacks could probably slice up the Volunteer defense with one arm. The Vols need to take away both of their arms. The problem is, can they get to them?
The answer is probably not between the whistles. The solution here is to equip the entire defense with handcuffs and a key. The players need to keep them in a discreet and secure location on the body. When Fromm is within reach, take him to the ground with whatever force necessary and cuff him. Then the players involved need to swallow the key or make them disappear by any means necessary. This will be a major disruption. While everyone is focusing on this distraction, a couple of equipped players need to go to the sidelines and do the same to Fields. The Vols will have to deal with the penalties and casualties from a possible brawl. If a fight occurs, send out the reserves; let the walk-ons earn their keep.
Trip Up The UGA Offensive Line
The Tennessee defensive line needs a little help getting to the quarterback. Shy Tuttle just might be able to help in more ways than one. As much as fans want to forget anything from his tenure, the Vols will have to steal a move from Butch Jones’ game chart. Or shall I say, practice chart? The defense needs to loosen up the chin straps. That’s right: helmets need to fly off. Hopefully, Cade Mays or any of the other Georgia offensive linemen will pull a Tuttle. The goal is to go full-Mario Kart and excrete helmets like turtle shells. It would be solid gold if Tuttle’s helmet could be the weapon that brings Mays to his knees. We are not asking for serious injury here. A rolled ankle will do. If a helmet can cause a tackle-for-loss, then even better. A third-string quarterback and a depleted offensive line should be an equalizer. We will call this tactic “Tuttle Shells.”
Do you want to see Georgia’s defensive line perform like the Vols’ offensive line? It can happen. It will take some coin, but it can happen. It is a sure bet that head coach Jeremy Pruitt still has connections in Athens. He needs to somehow contact a grad assistant or anyone with access to the locker room. If he can find a trustworthy source, then Operation: LAXadaisical is on. Pruitt will have to pull from the defense fund or recruiting budget to sway a young and desperate soul to infiltrate the bowels of the Georgia defensive lineman.
Their job will be to sneak laxative into the food or drink of every Bulldog defensive lineman during the pre-game itinerary. I know this is risky. The stinch could affect the Vols’ line, but what could stink worse than their performance so far? I trust Trey Smith to be capable of blocking multiple guys with saggy drawers and cramped stomachs. Also, Pruitt will have to promise this undercover agent a job up the ladder either at Tennessee or elsewhere. Maybe he can be the Vols new “bag man.” Every SEC team needs one that is discreet and willing to go with full measures.
These measures though, should ensure victory. It won’t be easy. Georgia will likely still have players like D’Andre Swift, Mecole Hardman and Riley Ridley. I trust guys like Daniel Bituli and Darrin Kirkland, Jr. to chase these guys down if they run a wildcat package. Georgia native Nigel Warrior should have a field day head-hunting these guys with no passing threat. If things still get hairy Between the Hedges, just remember Tennessee has its own DAWG in Juan Jennings. Jarrett Guarantano will have some time to pass thanks to the covert Georgia staff member. He will finally be able to flourish in the passing game with guys like Jennings and Marquez Callaway. Tim Jordan and Ty Chandler will finally have some room to run. They just need to watch their step. So, no more half-measures. In order for Tennessee to leave Athens victorious, they will have to get down and dirty. Then, they will be on their way to winning in the SEC.