We’ve all gotten those cheesy Valentine’s heart candies that you show random people in the hopes of mustering a giggle from the recipient. As for eating them, they’re about as useful as eating chalk, but the messages are the fun part, anyway. Imagine a world where you could have sports-related candy hearts to give to all of the sweethearts in your life — especially ones who need alleviated heartache after enduring awful season after season. Below, I hope you find a few enjoyable sports-themed candy heart messages.
The Country Club Collection
This first collection of candy hearts is grouped for those athletes and fans who love the quiet sports. Golf and tennis are littered with options for great sayings on candy hearts.
From the golf world, receiving a heart that says “Get in the hole!” would be a bit much from a serious standpoint, but could be funnier to your friends and romantic partners with an expanded sense of humor. Others could be phrases like “Be Good,” which may already be on some of the hearts. I’m no candy expert. Finally, a heart like “Go Low” or a certain under-par score would be slightly provocative.
In tennis, hearts would swoon for a candy with “Love-Love” written across it. “You’re my ace” would be another good option for a heart that has a cute message. For the ultimate cheesiness, “You tighten my heartstrings” would send just the right message.
Mainstream Sports Messages
In the world of mainstream sports, basketball, football and baseball all offer a plethora of options. Thanks to our dear old friends Dick Vitale and Bill Raftery, basketball is riddled with great sayings. “Awesome Baby!” making sure to capitalize the A like Dickie V asks, is a great starting point. Adding in “You’re a PTPer” (Primetime Player) would be another solid addition, even if it takes some explaining. Raftery gives us the eloquent “With a kiss” saying for a heart.
Baseball could offer things like “You knock me out of the park” or “You’re a grand slam,” but we all know the best one is for all the single people on Valentine’s Day: a heart emblazoned “single.” A bolder lover could be funny by gifting a “Take me for a ride” heart, from a common saying about baseball players hitting homers.
From football, any references to blitzing hearts or getting a sack would be good. Receiving a heart that says “Hail Mary!” would be a funny reaction to someone asking someone on a date. You could also be the lucky recipient of a heart that says “You intercepted my love.”
But of course, we have to add one purely relevant to Tennessee (and Peyton Manning) fans: the Omaha special. I’m sure you all know his iconic audible call, “Omaha! Omaha!” but this is Valentine’s Day. For Vol fans the world around, I submit to you “Oma-Hubba-Hubba!” I can feel the “swooning” from here.